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About Varied / Hobbyist Premium Member Jessica PurkersonFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Funny Joke!

Tue Nov 12, 2013, 9:02 PM


                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect
order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT...Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time...PRICELESS


  • Mood: Humor
  • Listening to: Drunken whaler
  • Reading: Facebook
  • Watching: Other artists Rule the world
  • Playing: Dead!
  • Eating: Tuna and noodles
  • Drinking: milk

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Marshwiggle777's Profile Picture
Marshwiggle777
Jessica Purkerson
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Favourite genre of music: Rock, Eclectic
Favourite style of art: Realism, Impressionism, Fantasy
Interests

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:iconrosaarvensis:
rosaarvensis Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the watch! :)
Reply
:iconmarshwiggle777:
Marshwiggle777 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I like your work, good luck!
Reply
:iconrosaarvensis:
rosaarvensis Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
:hug:
Reply
:iconmiatanae:
Miatanae Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
Your art is so amazing <3 I love it :)
Reply
:iconmarshwiggle777:
Marshwiggle777 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks
Reply
:iconscreenkisser:
screenkisser Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Very nice gallery, especially all the snakes♥
I dont see how you dont have more views or watchers, you've got some really cool stuff on here. I wish you the best of luck c:
Reply
:iconmarshwiggle777:
Marshwiggle777 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thats verry nice of you, I'm suffering from artist block, so I have not added enything new in months.
Reply
:iconscreenkisser:
screenkisser Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome c:
ah, i understand how you feel...but im sure you'll get out of it and will have some more really cool art on the way.
Reply
:iconblackcurrantjewelry:
blackcurrantjewelry Featured By Owner May 17, 2012
Thank you for the watch and the faves : )
Reply
:iconmarshwiggle777:
Marshwiggle777 Featured By Owner May 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You have nice work
Reply
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